Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches are the greatest sandwiches of all-time

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I feel very light-headed and tired at the moment. The only thing keeping me going is the PB&J sandwich I just ate.

The way I make PB&Js should be the only way to make this godlike sandwich. I learned from my dad. He makes triple decker PB&Js so that’s the way I make them.

First, you put peanut butter on one slice of bread. Then, on another slice of bread, you spread jelly, preferably grape. Then, you slam those two together.

On top of those two, spread peanut butter on one of the open faces. Then, take your final slice of bread and spread more jelly on that. Slam those together and voila, the greatest sandwich of all-time.

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I think Communists eat PB&Js with the crust on. I refuse to eat PB&J with the crust still on. My dad cut the crust off for me and now I cut the crust off of my sandwiches.

If I’m having any meat and cheese sandwiches, the crust remains on my bread. It’s only the PB&J where I refuse to eat the crust.

It’s just not good. A PB&J is a quick and easy sandwich that’s also very sweet while being somewhat nutritional for you. Because it’s sweet, I don’t need the poopy crust on there. I think the crust throws off the equilibrium of the peanut butter and jelly.

That’s why Uncrustables are awesome. The crust stinks and I’m glad Smuckers recognizes that. (Their lone fault is that they’re not homemade.)

Alongside my PB&J, I had a serving of Doritos. For whatever reason, Doritos taste better when eaten alongside a PB&J. There are just some foods that work together and the PB&J with a side of Doritos is at the top of the list for me next to steak and mashed potatoes and burgers and fries.

Look, it’s really hard for me to come up with content for a blog when the class I’m supposed to be writing the blog for hasn’t really started yet.

This blog is supposed to be about my experiences in reporting again but, I don’t start reporting until December. So, for now, I just have to write a blog once a week.

It probably should be about the class itself, but we’ve watched a movie in class the last two periods. We also talked about science journalism.

I don’t give a shit about science journalism.

Do I think it’s necessary? Yes. I’ve never been more afraid of climate change than I am at this moment because of some great science and environmental reporting.

But, learning about it at 9:30 in the morning really just kills me. It sucks. As a sports journalist, my journalism reporting classes have never really specified a week to talk about sports reporting.

It may be selfish of me to want a week of class dedicated to sports journalism. But, if we can have a week dedicated to science journalism and trauma reporting, I think we could squeeze in room about sports reporting.

Here’s the part where I turn a nonsensical blog into a worthwhile one:

As a sports journalist, I feel I must bring light to some sports talk in each blog that I do. I’ve done that so far, so I’m going to continue.

The last time I wrote, I was complaining about David Price shitting the bed in Game 2 of the ALDS against the New York Yankees.

Since then, the Sox have advanced to the ALCS and are playing a very daunting opponent in the Houston Astros.

Last night in Game 2 of the ALCS, Price didn’t do that shitty. He let up 4 runs. 2 of which were on a bomb by Houston’s Marwin Gonzalez.

The other 2 came after a ball that would’ve been a routine out, squeezed past the solid Red Sox shortstop, Xander Bogaerts.

Xander is awesome. But, two of Price’s runs fall on him. I’m sorry.

The great thing about last night though: the Red Sox tied the ALCS at one game apiece.

Now, Nathan Eovaldi, who I begged to have a great game in my last blog, had an outstanding outing in Game 3 of the ALDS. In which, Eovaldi pitched through 7 innings and kept the Yankees at bay while the Red Sox offense proceeded to crush the Yankees, 16-1.

I need the same thing out of Eovaldi tomorrow night in Game 3 of the CS. Then, it’s Ricky “Porch-lights” Porcello in Game 4. Then probably Chris Sale again in Game 5.

Sale literally, just now, got released from Mass General Hospital with a stomach illness. So:

BREAKING NEWS RIGHT WHEN I WAS WRITING THIS!

Chris Sale got roped a bit during Saturday’s Game 1. I hope that was on part of the stomach illness that was ailing him. I’m just glad it’s not his shoulder.

He’ll be back with the team and the Red Sox have new life in this series.

I’m also very happy from a football standpoint that Tom Brady is still the GOAT and handed the Kansas City Chiefs their first loss yesterday.

So, that’s it. That’s my blog about peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

Go Sox.

~DS

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